TheTVObserver: Forgiving A Porn Addict

Can you imagine discovering a slew of files on your home computer courtesy of your husbands porn trail? And when he asks you to invite a stranger into your bed?

I googled “Porn” and in 0.09 seconds, Google had 250,000,000 results for porn.

I was not shocked as I know very well that besides information, the net is riddled with sex like Gomorrah. Odds are you or someone you know has looked at porn excessively and inordinate amounts. For some, porn is an addiction that costs them everything. Everybody is vulnerable to this addiction.

Think about it for a second. It will take you 0.9seconds to find a wealth of pornography. For some its better than having to ask someone on a date, which I think is clear indicator that you need help. You can just watch and abuse yourself to hell and back. Okay I am disgusted…..

Forgive & Forget on etv had this guy, Michael Knox, who got addicted to porn and this lead to the destruction of his marriage. This guy had balls to come of national television and declare to South Africans that he is addicted to porn. Even thou he sort help, this is one sneaky and persistent addiction which is just a PC or MAC away.

Whether the motive for consuming pornography is sexual appetite, escape/self-medication, or any other reason, engaging in these addictions causes the brain and body to endogenously produce and release chemical drugs into its own system. These chemicals include: epinephrine (an adrenal gland hormone that "locks-in" memories of experiences occurring at times of high arousal), adrenaline, adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH), noradrenaline, norepinephrine and testosterone, among others. This drug is dragging millions of troubled victims along in its destructive wake.

I have to admit that the show needs a whole lot of work but as we have come to expect with local shows, less quality is always on air, whilst good quality is always raped and abused until it’s off screen. Moving on….

Persistent accessing of porn not only provides the addict with sexual arousal, but offers a way to self-medicate in order to escape the realities of life. A porn addict will suffer withdrawal symptoms when they try-or are compelled-to relinquish their vice for any length of time. The withdrawal symptoms may drive an addict to find porn and often causes him to act out his needs in inappropriate ways.

When the episode aired, I knew I was going to be bored and disgusted all mixed into a perfect segment of the show. But I took the time to think about what this would mean to me if someone I loved and married ended up addicted to porn.

As the show progressed this guy displayed very interested behaviors, obviously he is someone with a highly addictive personality. He appeared to be weak in character but attempted to achieve good things by living up to such an expectation, which was destroyed by his addictive persona.

When the wife or girlfriend was ask, would you forgive him and take him back. She gave a resounding and firm NO, accompanied by the shaking on her head endlessly signally a firm NO. When she reported that it was not just him and the internet bound together in porn, but the guy wanted them to invite strangers into their bed! Okay!

Then I decided to research:
Case #1
I've have been married to a sex addict for most of my 25-year marriage. For much of that time, I hid my shameful secret. I'd tell myself my husband, Paul, was normal, that every man was into pornography. All the while, I silently suffered tremendous damage to my self-worth, blaming myself for my husband's problem. I never caught Paul looking at pornographic magazines, watching x-rated movies, or surfing pornographic Web sites. Instead, I found out by his own admission. Since he was a Christian while involved in these activities, his guilt eventually got to him—and he had to confess.

Case #2
I have been married for almost two years and I just kept telling myself that young guys do this and they grow out of it. I spent many nights being angry at him and angry at myself that I wasn't good enough to keep him satisfied. With the internet as a tool now it is so much harder for this habit to be broken. I think we both believed that if we took away all temptation from the house he would stop but that never fixes the issue. My husband has started facing physical problems from his overindulgence in this illness and its sad that we are just now coming to terms that this will not go away on its own. Thank you again.

Case #3
I have a big problem, my husband gets home from work most nights around 10:00pm. He stays up until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morninig on the computer looking at porn sites. He does not know that Im aware of this. It is getting to the point where he is going to the local adult personal sites. It makes me sick to my stomach. It almost feels like he is cheating on me. How do I begin to confront him about this? Please help me. I can hardly sleep any more. When he tries to get intimate with me I want to throw up because he makes me sick. The funny thing is that I still love him. We have three childern that also love their dad.

From the research, all I could find was an alarming reality that your partner (if male) has or is probably watching porn. The question is how much porn is he watching and does it affect his life in any way in which it could be defined as negative?

Whatever the reason, I personally think that this issue, as hard as it is, must be addressed before hand. Yes it’s not easy but if left, it will destroy your family.

There are men and women who do not have a problem with their partner spending hundreds of hours surfing the net for porn. It is something I will never stand for.

A friend of mine told me recently that she used to date a guy who watched porn and wanted them to try out some of stuff he saw. She found it exciting at first because the guy performed like a stallion, until she realized that the he was practically a director of their sex life in what seemed like a private collection of fantasies. He would not do spontaneous sex. He always wanted to have sex with ideas and concepts influenced by the videos and images he saw. Without having to go on and on, she dumped the asshole.

This is disgusting, please be addicted to your bloody porn alone. Do not bring other people into your twisted interests. Just when we thought over sexed men were a problem, we now have porn addicted and over sex men.

What would you do if you found out that your loved one is addicted to porn? With MXIT and SEX services promoted on etv plus the internet, you boyfriend or husband phone and computer may just house a shocking find.

Watching this Michael Knox face as the Forgive & Forget car drives away as a sign that the wife or girlfriend is not interested in forgiving or forgetting Michael’s porn addiction and all its consequences. I personally find the car driving off and leaving the person seeking forgiveness to be way too disgusting. Producers could at least have the presenter step out to inform the poor person that the other party is not interested.

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