Then I realized how boring is Sunday morning TV. Now I see why people drink so much, especially on Sunday. Anyway…after that little couch observation. I decided to pop in some screeners and DVDs I get from Studios on upcoming movies and television shows, when suddenly, in between that, I caught a discussion on SABC1 (Yes, it was by mistake, its not my channel and I am not their demo).
The program is called “The Chatroom” hosted by Parson’s live-in girlfriend over at Isidingo. Do remember that I caught this a few minutes after it started but just in time to get the fun stuff. There was a young girl whose issue was pretty simple. She did not want to get married.
Simple, right? Well not for Chatroom, they brought church folk and a local TV personality to argue if HER decision to not get married was MORAL, RIGHT, GOOD FOR SOCIETY, and to top it all a GOOD EXAMPLE for the nation. Which I really thought was a laughable waste.
Oh! What got them going as that she was had a child and she only wanted to raise her baby and live her own life. She admitted that she may consider getting married in the future, but not now.
The show had three couples, 1) is living together and they both don’t see the point of marriage and they are happy together. 2) got married because its what they wanted to do and they consider it a MORAL and HONEST thing to do., and 3)has been married for 100 years ( a long time), who both in ministry as Reverends.
To spice things up, they brought in traditionalist and a Pastor, who also practically supported the insinuations made by the married Reverends that, if you don’t marry you will go to hell.
The reason why I found this to be a laughable waste, was that divorce rates amongst Christian folks is high and the overall divorce rate for South Africa is growing like cows on growth hormones. Eventually bad things start to happen…bad milk, melons start to sag and they swing from left to right, they loose weight and you start to see their skeleton structure with the butt suspended in mid air, and eventually it boils down to a big old NASTY experience . I could make comparisons but…I don’t want to get letters/emails. Reading hundreds of emails from all my fans and readers is not as fun as I thought. But I love to receive them, keep’m coming.
Back to the topic, the poor girl just wanted to raise her child and exercise her choice as to when she would want to get married. The traditionalist mentioned the fact that this is happening because of our current society and its standards. In what he calls the “old days” things like these wouldn’t happen. Of course not, Mr. Traditionalist, all the men can have multiple wives and cheat to their dick’s content and the females would be expected to sit there and be good little wives who just breast feed, make hundreds of babies and clean the house, cook for men, and do all else. Meanwhile the wife is not expected to do the same. I wonder why?
The celebrity made solid points and I particularly liked when she made a point by reflecting her upbringing in that she saw that her parents worked very hard to keep their marriage on solid grounds for years. She continued to inform the girl that it has to be her choice, she has to do what she wants, so that when she decides to marry its for the RIGHT reasons and it is at the RIGHT time for her.
Of course the Pastors were not happy, since we all are in an express lane to hell since we think marriage should be treated with respect and not rushed into. The issue was compounded by the sheer fact that she had a child out of wedlock because she does not want to get married. Seeing as she is going to hell and all. The comments from the traditionalist and the church folk and them using G-d to support their brain washing tactics was appalling to watch, let alone listen to them.
We have one of the highest rates of single parent households in the world, followed very closely by child headed homes. It has become a norm mostly amongst black folks that when you get married chances are, you are going to find her or him with a child. Often this brings with it complications, which I am not going go into. But the problem is that men start to go after very young kids to find the fresh fish (women without children), they marry them and later divorce. She is then left with a child or children. The cycle continues.
One of the points made by the TV personality is that people rush to get married and they then infect their wives or husbands with all sorts of diseases in the sanctuary of marriage. She said church and society should back off as it were, to allow young people to find what works for them because marriage is no longer like before. She made it a point to stress it to the young lady, the subject of the show, to find her self and what works for her. Of course the wife of the 100 year married couple decided to hit back at the celebrity by telling the young girl that she should get married or else she will go to hell, pretty much.
I do agree with the TV personality because the minute you announce your engagement, people start hitting on you like flies. When you get married every women or men will practically find you attractive. We also have the highest rate of cheating husbands. I hate it when certain cultures take the newly wed “wife” for a special marriage counseling session and they don’t tell her about marriage but about the fact that he, the husband, is going to cheat. You should just be a good wife and stand by your man and don’t ask him where he has been and why he is late. F@#$ that, I would stand by him after chopping his balls off. At least I would know what I am standing by, because I don’t think women find it fun being married to PIPI for HIRE!
- Around 230,000 South Africans get married every year. 16% are below the age of 25 and 8% are older than 50. (AMPS 2005RA)
- Nearly 80% of South African women between the ages of 20 and 50 are mothers corresponding to 8.5 million women. (Census 2001)
- One third of mothers under the age of 50 have one child. Some 20% have four or more children. (Census 2001)
- Some three million mothers (a little more than a third) are not economically active while a further 2.6 million are unemployed according to the official definition. (Census 2001)
- 41% of those who read Hustler are married. (AMPS 2005RA)
- 67% of all white people aged 25 - 34 are married or living together. The corresponding proportion of black people is 31%. (AMPS 2005RA)
- 55% of South Africans aged 25 or more are married or living together, 4% are divorced or separated and 10% are widowed (AMPS 2005RA)
- People from Cape Town are the biggest fans of romance movies on TV. 45% say it is their favourite genre, compared with 37% in Johannesburg and a very unromantic 28% in Pretoria. (PeoplePanel 2003)
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