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Monday, March 9, 2009
TheTVObserver: Sexual Satisfaction
The show had Dr. Khathide (Sex Educator / Pastor); Doreen Sekgotho (Sex Educator); Cynthia Motau (A Cervical Cancer Survivor); Omphile Sebitloane (Clininal Psychologist); and Dr. Elna Mcintosh (Sexologist). The topic was very simple….Sexual Pleasure and Sexual Satisfaction for Women.
I believe this is a critical component to living your best life. It should be every man’s (or women’s) objective to ensure that their partner experiences sexual pleasure by any means necessary (within your boundaries of course – the last thing you need is a trip to the E.R with slings and things stuck somewhere).
Often women are afraid to address their dissatisfaction towards their boyfriend or husband’s lovemaking or sexual experiences. I don’t understand how that could be, you are initiate with this person, why would you not address any form of dissatisfaction you have over their tango tactics. Yes, it could be horrifying to raise the subject but you will be glad you did.
On my Best Life Sex 101 blog, I addressed the importance of demanding or rather affirming what you need sexually, to ensure that you experience pleasure. These words …’honey you don’t satisfy me sexually” is every man’s nightmare. It’s like you have pronounced them dead on the spot! Instead they should look at this as a perfect opportunity to get their women to have sex with them more often in the quest of sexual satisfaction. Think Samantha and Mr. Vodka, how she taught him all he needed to know about how to hit her "spot". Who can forget that scene where she goes "Slower, Higher, Higher and Slower and Slower..ahhhhhhh"
The points raised by Dr. Khathide, ….
If that is the case, that would mean some black women must be faced with serious issues when it comes to addressing their own sexual satisfaction with their loved ones. But I fail to accept that the modern black lady is unable to seek satisfaction from her man! The old generation, I can understand or those in abusive relationships, but modern…absolutely NO!
Women & Sexual Satisfaction
Russell Eisenman's research into women's perceptions of sexual satisfaction considered penis size and width. Fifty sexually active women aged between 18 and 25 years old were questioned. No consideration was given to issues like love, physical attractiveness or romantic feelings.The women were asked "In having sex, which feels better, length of penis or width of penis?" The survey found:
Most of the 50 women said that width was more important than length.
Only 5 women reported length felt better than width. In fact a long penis can cause discomfort
None of the women said that both size and width were equally important
None of the women said they did not know
Doreen Sekgotho, Sex Educator
But first men should be taught about the Vagina and the Clitoris is located….here is a hint guys…"It’s not inside, its on TOP" Cremora! LOL. It is near the anterior junction of the labia minora.
Penis width and penis length
There are a number of reasons why penis width should be described as more sexually satisfying by women. First the width of the penis at the base may be more stimulating to the clitoris. The researchers also suggest that a wide penis gives a woman a 'greater feeling of fullness' and is therefore physically and psychologically more satisfying.
Sexual Satisfaction is described by thousands of women in medical reports as the ability to achieve orgasm, and more importantly, achieve orgasm every time they are intimate; in other words "orgasm consistency". Sexual satisfaction is the expectation that a woman will achieve orgasm every time.
Orgasm can only be achieved from a state of maximal arousal. As men cannot experience orgasm without maximum arousal, women cannot achieve orgasm without maximum arousal, or a clitoral erection. A woman's clitoris becomes enlarged, rigid, and increasingly sensitive with erection. This allows a woman to achieve orgasm.
But what if all this HURTS (and not in a good way). I mean physically painful internally due to some medical condition which you may not be aware of?
Medically defined benefits of sexual satisfaction
Sexual satisfaction is reported to increase a woman's sense of well being, reduce reaction to everyday life stresses, improve the emotional satisfaction within a relationship, and even prolong a woman's life. All of these positive benefits define an improved "quality of life." Sexual satisfaction and sexual health are "quality of life," not medical concerns.
If sexual satisfaction is a concern in your life, you are not alone! Oprah recently declared the problem of woman's sexual satisfaction as the "Silent Epidemic." Silent - because until recently women were reluctant to discuss their desire for sexual satisfaction. Epidemic - because of the reported 40 to 50 millions US women who endure reduced or absent sexual satisfaction. When you even consider an educated hypothesis for South Africa, you are left with nothing but a potentially alarming conclusion.
When asked why do women use vibrators, the following answeres were given:
The stimulus of a vibrator feels good and a vibrator never gets tired.
Some women can only orgasm with their vibrator (for argument's sake).
A woman may discover other modes of having an orgasm like multiple orgasms on the clit, in the g-spot or during penetration with a little bit of practice.
Experimentation is vital (A woman needs to know her body for a man to give her an intense orgasm, too).
Vibrators may work on those occurrences when an orgasm becomes difficult.
Vibrators are great for "quickies" and batteries are cheap.
A woman doesn't have to be nice to her vibrator in order to receive satisfaction.
A vibrator will not orgasm first and fall asleep.
A vibrator brings novelty into the bedroom.
A vibrator feels good to a man who may also want to watch.
Oprah featured Dr. Laura Berman-”Oprah’s favorite sex therapist”-on The Oprah Winfrey show’s Best Life Series and she brought the amazing Aphrodite vibrator, as part of the show’s commitment to giving women information to Live Their Best Lives. The Aphrodite Vibrator Massager as seen on Oprah’s show helped this poor women receive her first orgasm in several years!
My question to you is...
And Does the use of a vibrator to assist in achieving your sexual satisfaction with or without your husband or boyfriend, an option to consider?