Monday, June 29, 2009

TheTVObserver: Bad Mothers

Caring and raising a human being is one of the most taxing experiences one could ever endure. When done well, the rewards are amazing and it brings so much joy that some have described it as “beyond your wildest imagination”.

But before you get there, you have to deal with issues surrounding your kids, their choices, and your husband/wife. Meanwhile you are trying to keep yourself sane throughout that life sentence. Television mothers often attempt to showcase the fun side of parenting, because who wants to see bad mothers on television?

We also have the lives of Jon and Kate Plus 8. They’ve become what we consider a dangerous circus revolving around the kids. But who cares right? Kate and Jon are famous and fame comes with a price, and the kids will pay for it, now or later. Is that fair…NO! Whatever the situation, what is clear is how much the show has gone from an innocent series, to a controversial choice for viewers.

Raising a child is not easy and raising more than one, of the same age, at the same time, is a true test on your mental stability.

But the truth is that mothers deal with some emotions which are exclusive to them. Males or fathers; can never understand those emotions. But, does that mean mothers have the right to become “bad mothers”? Then again, what is a bad mother?

What might be a bad mother to you, may be a great mother to another. We believe that some mothers are bad because:

a) they realize after giving birth, that they are not cut-out to be a mother and the guilt of having made the choice of having a family, pushes them to become a monster;

b) being expected to have children, when you know in your heart of hearts, its not what you need/want, but the pressure from family, society and friends, breaks you. You finally have children and the outcome is less that motherly love, due to the resentment you hold. In certain cases you have children because you have pressure to keep the man or be a good wife;

c) you give birth and realize you have this bad thoughts about your child; you sometimes feel relieved when you are far away from your children; you resent your children; you have no connection whatsoever with your child, which drives you insane;

Am sure there other reasons, (some medical, emotional, psychological, etc) but these are the ones we have observed.

In today’s society, we are growing increasingly unable to provide the required level of parenting for the benefit of children, which is mandatory from both parents. We live in a world that is all about “ready-to-use”, and “easy-to-discard”; unfortunately that does not work for children, no matter how much they drive you crazy. "You Discard, You Go To Jail"

Then we have children who are bullies. Mention is always made of the bullies but people seem to fail to address the fact that bullies have parents! Hello! They did not drop from the sky and start bullying kids, to a point where those victims resort to Columbine like behavior. Kids always act out what they have learned. You taught them or abused them to be, what they’ve come.

These are some anonymous confessions by mothers…….

Mother #1
Believe me I am the worlds worst mom I hate my kids to the core,I don't like to be around them.I wish me and my husband could just leave them and start our life a fresh.They don't even love their mother I gave them everything they wanted and they give more love and affection to comlpete strangers,so why even bother.All I ever wanted growing up was a family of my own and all I got was shit.I need help but just don't know what to do.

Mother #2
I am really upset about my divorce so I have used my kids to get back at my ex. I tell them they shouldn't love their Dad and his new girlfriend and tell them that their father left them. I don't want them to love their Dad because it hurts me. I have lied in our divorce and under oath in court. I stole money from my ex. I cheated on him in our marriage. Secretly I want him back.

And Mother #3
last summer, my 14 yr old son fell as he was running down the stairs. He fell the last 4 steps. After he hit the bottom he grabbed his leg and said that his ankle hurt. I checked it out, it wasn't swelling or bruised,so I had him put some ice on it and told him it would be fine. The next morning he was still complaining about his ankle, it didn't look any worse, still no swelling so I told him to quit being a wuss and suck it up and deal with it. Well the next day he still wouldn't put any weight on his foot so I took him to the local urgent care for an x-ray. As it turns out, he had a hairline fracture in the bottom of the leg bone! He kept telling me "Bad Mom" since I told him to walk on a broken ankle.

Whatever the issue, being a mother is not an easy job and to those who are unable to mother their children, we should look at them with kindness, subject to their mistakes! Its kinder hard to be kind when someone kills a child or abuses them.

What got us thinking about this subject an observation of thousands of shows on TV, and realizing that you only see bad mothers on crime shows or tabloid talk-shows, yet the so called “bad mothers” seem to be known to us all, in one way or the other. You have heard the comment "Oh, she's a bad mother"; "Who does that to a child?, She is a bad mother"; "Good mothers don't do that", etc. Although people pass those comments as opinions, it seems to be an easy conclusion by females who are also mothers. As if there is a universal standard which regulars who is and not, a bad mother. But since the label “bad mother” is open for much needed debate, we believe as stated earlier, that a bad mother to you, may be a fantastic mother to us.

Also we realized that some mothers take their parental rights way too far, e.g using their children as a personal bankby getting fathers to pay, beyond reason to care for the child; using their children as their personal lifetime insurance plan - controlling their kids to a point where they destroy their lives and marriages, just to make sure that their son looks after them instead anyone else, etc.

What do you think of bad mothers?

Related Links
TheTVObserver: TV Mothers

By TheTVObserver
@ 2009 © TheTVObserver. All Rights Reserved
Pictures used on TheTVObserver graphics and information sourced from third parties are the property of their respective owners. All rights reserved

No comments: