SCENE VIII: The Wedding Reception, Caesars Palace Ballroom
JENNIFER: So unless somebody here knows every move of my intricately planned choreography, I'm gonna have to cancel and paid in full.
[BEVERLEY LESLIE RUNS UP TO TOWARDS THE STAGE.]
BEVERLEY: Miss Lopez. Miss Lopez, I can do it. I know all the moves--
[AS BEVERLEY LESLIE RUNS PAST JACK, JACK SHOVES HIM AND SENDS HIM SAILING ACROSS THE ROOM, WHERE HE FALLS TO THE GROUND.]
JACK: Miss Lopez, I can do it. I know all the steps by heart.
JENNIFER: Okay, well, can you do this?
[JENNIFER DOES A DANCE MOVE: SHE KICKS OUT HER LEG AND ROTATES HER HIPS AND TURNS HER HEAD.]
[JACK MIMICS THE MOVE.]
JENNIFER: Let me check the butt.
[JACK TURNS AROUND AND LIFTS HIS JACKET SO JENNIFER LOPEZ CAN LOOK AT HIS BUTT.]
JENNIFER: Girl, you're hired!
SCENE IX: The Wedding Reception, Caesars Palace Ballroom, Lobby
KAREN: Jackie... Finney and I are getting a divorce.
JACK: [SADLY] Oh, Karen. [EXCITED] But did you hear? I'm gonna tour with J.Lo! I mean, doesn't anybody care?! I'm gonna tour with Jennifer Lopez!
BEVERLEY: I care! Does she need another--
[JACK PUSHES BEVERLEY.]
Original Airdate 11/17/2005
SCENE II: A Department Store
GRACE: Oh, Will's helping Jack look for apartments, and then they're going to stop off to see some gay penguins.
KAREN: [LAUGHS] Gay penguins. Please. Honey, that is absurd. There's no such thing as a gay penguin!
[BEVERLEY LESLIE AND HIS "BUSINESS ASSOCIATE" BENJI ENTER.]
BEVERLEY: Well, well, well... Karen Walker and her Jewess, out for a morning shop.
KAREN: Well, if it isn't Tom and Helen Willis of TV's "The Jeffersons." Hello, Beverley Leslie. How are things in Ankleville?
BEVERLEY: Uh, not so good. My dear wife Crystal has suddenly passed.
KAREN: Oh, Beverley, I'm so sorry.
GRACE: Me, too. Although I never met Crystal. But, oddly, I have met your business associate, Benji, 16 times. Including once at The Ramrod.
BEVERLEY: I'm here to buy a dress to bury Crystal in.
KAREN: Honey, I think maybe you should wear men's clothes for that.
[BEVERLEY WALKS AWAY ANNOYED.]
KAREN: Bev. Bev, honey, come here. You know that I love you in my way. And I know that you loved Crystal in your way. So now that she's out of the way... is there anything that I can do for you?
BEVERLEY: Well, Karen, it would mean a lot to me if you would attend Crystal's memorial service tomorrow afternoon.
KAREN: Well, of course, Beverley. I wouldn't miss it.
BEVERLEY: And Miss Adler, why don't you join us.
GRACE: Oh, no. No, I couldn't intrude on a day that's so... intimate and personal... and boring.
BEVERLEY: Oh, please! It's not going to be anything like that. It's more like a party. A celebration of her death.
BEVERLEY: Life. So, I'll see you both tomorrow afternoon. I'll be receiving from 5:30 'til 6:30.
KAREN: [SIGHS] [TO BENJI] Boy, that's gotta be a long hour for you.
Original Airdate 1/12/2006
The Walker Penthouse, A Large, Ornate Bathroom
[JACK TURNS ON THE SHOWER AND BEGINS WASHING HIMSELF.]
WILL: Yeah, say whatever you want. They're gonna catch on. Pretty soon, everywhere you look, you're see gonna pickled shrimp.
[BEVERLEY LESLIE ENTERS THE BATHROOM.]
BEVERLEY: Well, well, well... I walk in on a naked man, a man in his underpants, and a woman who needs to leave.
WILL: Beverley, this isn't a good time.
BEVERLEY: And I'm saying it could be.
GRACE: Get out!
BEVERLEY: Oh, settle down, woman. Look at y'all. I've never witnessed such inappropriate behavior.
[BEVERLEY WALKS OVER TO THE SHOWER AND TRIES TO LOOK OVER THE TOP. JACK SMACKS HIM ACROSS THE FACE THREE TIMES.]
BEVERLEY: No wonder Karen's never invited you to her birthday party.
WILL: What? This is the first time she's ever thrown herself a party.
BEVERLEY: Oh, my... Have I been indiscreet? 'Cause I'd hate to be the one to tell you Karen's been having this party for ten years. Really hate it.
[BEVERLEY EXITS, BUT THEN OPENS THE DOOR AND PEEKS BACK IN.]
BEVERLEY: Really. Ten years. Hate it.
GRACE: I can't believe it.
JACK: This is impossible.
WILL: All these years and she's been lying to us.
JACK: It's worse than that. Karen uses Costco shampoo!
[JACK HOLDS UP A LARGE GALLON JUG OF SHAMPOO.]
and for the fun of it we just thought this would be funny.
[A BIT LATER. KAREN IS ALONE IN THE BATHROOM. SHE SHAKES A BOTTLE OF PILLS AND READS THE LABEL.]
KAREN: How many of these am I supposed to take again?
[KAREN ROLLS A PAIR OF DICE.]
KAREN: A yes, eight.
Well, well, well... it's the end of our special on the funniest Will & Grace recurring guest actor. We hope you've enjoyed our special, as much as we did. Thank you.
TheTVObserver: Will&Grace's Beverley Leslie
TheTVObserver: Will&Grace's Beverley Leslie Part 2
TheTVObserver: Will&Grace's Beverley Leslie Part 3
TheTVObserver: Will&Grace's Beverley Leslie Part 4
TheTVObserver: Will&Grace's Beverley Leslie Part 5
TheTVObserver: Will&Grace's Beverley Leslie Part 6