Monday, July 20, 2009

TheTVObserver: The Drama, We Broke Up!!!

Okay, you know the drill. I asked your advice and you were kind enough to offer it. Here’s what happened.

I ignored the calls and text’s from you know who (actually you don’t. it just sound nice), to think about the advice we got from TVSA, via email, on Twitter etc.
No matter how long it took for me to consider the advice and comments by readers, there was not enough time. I reduced all the advice to one reality, which was or is – “You are dumping someone. It’s not going to be easy, just do it and get it over with”.

After realizing that hours were turning into days, I picked up the phone and upon pick up I said: “Hi I am coming over” and the only response I got was “Okay” which was followed by “Now?, Are you coming over now?”, and I obliged with a firm “Yeah”. This was resolved with another “Okay”, and the sound of what I can only assume to be the simultaneous dropping of handsets.

I blocked my mind from thinking of what I sounded like and if it gave off an alarm. Frankly I did not care. I was in a zone and I was going for it. My mind was fixed on getting this over with ASAP. I was on mission possible and cruise control was my objective.
“Hey, how are you”, is what I said when the door opened. I was greeted with a loving smile and hug, which was closely accompanied by “Are you hungry?, I can fix us something”. My response was negative to the offer and like a doctor, I was ready to deliver bad news; food was not going to make it better and it was the last thing on my mind.

To avoid yet another question which may lead to a complicated discussion over why I did not return calls, texts etc; I said “Babe, can you please sit down. I have to tell you something”. That was my attempt at prep work.

“Should I be worried” they responded with a smile, one of the assets I enjoyed and will miss. Immediately I thought “this one can tell something is up”. Without wasting anymore time I went for it ….
“I need to tell you something. It is very important that I do this right” at this point I was looking directly into their beautiful eyes and I suddenly realized a spark. Then it dawned on me that I was sounding like a person about to pop the question. YIKES! I switched faster than I could blink. In fact that moment was terrifying for me. I WAS FREAKING OUT.

I smiled and said “Babe listen to me very carefully.” They responded with a confused look and whispered “Okay” , and I continued “I do not want this arrangement to continue.” ...THUD!!!!! They blinked and their eyes stayed shut for a couple of seconds and I was like WOW, the power is going-out, get this over with now…now now now!

I continued….”I feel that every day, month and year we continue with this, I am robbing you of an opportunity to meet someone you can fall in love with”

The frown kicked in, which was followed by an intense stare. My immediate response was to capitalize on this moment since their face was frowning with what looked like a confused state which can only mean their brain was attempting to process what I was saying. Just to make sure that my statement is not taken out of context, I continued…..“I want this to be over, now, today. I want us to have a chance at meeting people we can love and have that love returned with an equal amount of passion and commitment.”

I was trying to knock out a possible “I am in love with you and I think we should give it try” as their response.

The frown went away and was replaced by teary eyes and hands to the head, which is not a good sign. I thought to myself this is going as well as it could be expected and I concluded by saying “I have had the best time of my life with you and I will always respect you and I felt that I should be man enough to explain to you in person what I want and feel.”

The response was “Oh My God!” And I gave it my last and final punch, which was slow and aimed at clarity, by saying: “DO.YOU.UNDER.STAND!”

This was followed by a deafening silence for a couple of seconds, which felt like an hour.

I smiled and looked deep into their eyes and held their face, and said “Do you understand”, as caring as I could. Meanwhile, I was hoping desperately that their intellect was working well without any interference from their emotions.

Finally they responded with a “Yes”, however that was not all. It was followed by a packed “But…..”

I thought oooh no!, but I indulged…by saying ”But what?” and they replied “But, we don’t have to end it. Maybe we can end it when we find people we love”. Immediately I said “NO!” and I continued “I don’t think that will work for me.”

They stood up, as thou, to walk off words that cause discomfiture. I asked “Are you going to be okay with this?”, and the response was “What do you think?.” I whispered to myself "maybe that was not the best thing to say" but they heard me and said "Excuse me?". I said "Nothing" and kept quite, but they pressed on: “Every day we continue with THIS! You are robbing me of an opportunity to meet someONE. Are you kidding me? I guess I should be grateful then, huh?" I felt like a Hallmark moment gone terribly wrong, but I kept quite. They on the other hand did not: "I should RUN OFF and find my TRUE LOVE. Oh My God. I can’t believe this is happening”. Trying to clarify (looking back this was not a bright idea) I said "Actually babe, I never said Run Off" Then it happened, they gave me a STONE COLD LOOK!

I realized that a pre-planned appointment with one member of the gang-of-mischief’s would’ve been handy. But, the doing it right motto was the objective and get it right, was the task.

So I said “You have a choice, as do I. I need to tell you of my choice or decision, instead of….”. I was cut off with a sarcastic “Oh, am sorry!, did I forget to say thank you. Well, thank you very much!. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?”. I realized they are angry, so I kept quite again. (if this is what married people feel like, it sucks), to allow them to process their words in reference to the nature of this unique break up.

That was lost in their emotions of anger, because they immediately said: “I don’t see you for I don't know how long…….”. I cut them off by saying “Stop. We are not in a ‘normal’ relationship and we have talked about this."

I continued (making sure that I did not sound or display, a patronizingly superior attitude) I said “My choice right now, is to END this. Not because I don’t like you or I want to hurt you, but because it’s what I WANT”.

In what sounded like an attempt to test waters for a heated fight, they said “Are you seeing someone and is that the reason you want us to be done?”

I said: “Babe! NO”. That was followed by yet another sarcastic “Wonderful”, with a touch of fury.
I realized I had to extend myself and show them I cared, so I hugged them in a passionate embrace which was greeted by resistance at first and followed by tears, and then they reciprocated. I then realized what was obvious all along.

We hugged for a while and it was clear we were over, but they asked me to spend just one last night together. I said: “As much as that is tempting, I don’t think it’s a good idea” and I continued by saying “I want only the best for you, and you deserve to find someone who will love you how I can’t and I don’t think am able”.

We held each other for a while as if to say goodbye. Unlocking from the hug, I said “I am not seeing anyone, I have never cheated on you, and there is no one else in my life. This is not your fault. AT ALL” (which is the truth by the way). I walked out without looking back.

While walking out, I was thinking “Let there be no drama or worse - a sonnet of love or emotions, until I close the door, get in and out of the elevator, walk out of the lobby, and drive off”.

I got into the car and drove off, thanking the Lord and hoping that my actions were caring and respectful. I did send them flowers every day with a note asking them to accepted my apology, if I hurt them in any way. After four days of deliveries, I got an email saying "There is nothing to forgive you for. I am fine. All the best (and some stuff which will remain private)".
PLEASE NOTE: Due to the very personal nature of this story, certain data has been left out for obvious reasons. What is clear is that "I am Not Read To Love", until then I need a break. Hello Aruba!

A special thank you to everyone who sent in their advice and comments on Twitter, BlogCatalog, via email and on TVSA.

Related Links
TheTVObserver: I am Dumping Your
TheTVObserver: LoveSeries

By TheTVObserver
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